


I want the room to take me under

by Beautifulsoulheart



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, F/M, Maya Hart-centric, author writes angst instead of sleeping, riley makes a cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 05:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13265142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautifulsoulheart/pseuds/Beautifulsoulheart
Summary: Maya doesn’t go back to the apartment right away. She can’t bring herself to look at the space that the two of them were preparing to start a life together. Riley had offered to get some of her things to get her by until she figured out what she had planned to do next.





	I want the room to take me under

**Author's Note:**

  * For [harrythe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrythe/gifts).



> This is for my best friend/platonic soulmate Ashleigh for her birthday. (It’s only like a day late but much better then nothing.) I’m sorry its angsty, so please don’t hate me. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this plot and that’s all. Anything else is the property of Disney.

She’s not prepared for the startling realization of being left at the alter. Josh had been the one who was so sure and so strong in the decision that they get married that Maya can’t figure out what happened.

Maya could feel herself walking towards the back of the church and back into the room where she had gotten ready. Her things are still piled on the bed, and her change of clothes for after the reception are waiting neatly in the bad that was going to make it’s way to the venue.

The blonde sits down on the settee and looks down at her hand. Her engagement ring is still there, the sensible diamond in a simple setting is still waiting for its mate to complete the full wedding set. She wants to throw it off the George Washington bridge but she just makes herself content with removing it.

“Peaches,” she can heard Riley enter the room but her focus is on the ring in her hand as she puts all her focus onto the small object. “Maya? Do you need to talk about it?”

“I’m an idiot,” the blonde said as she looked up at her best friend. “I wasn’t good enough.”

“Maya. You are the best person in the world and Josh is the idiot,” the brunette pulled her best friend into a hug. “I already sent Lucas after him.”

“Then why didn’t he want to marry me Riley? He spent weeks telling me that this was a sure thing.”

“I can’t answer that Maya. I wish that I could.”

“Yeah so do I.”

Riley helps her out of her dress before Maya tells her that she needs to be alone. She needs to process her thoughts and feelings without reassuring anyone that she’s fine, because in reality she doesn’t know if she is.

Maya stares at the dress as it hangs back in its garment bag waiting to be worn. It’s not over the top or big and full of nothing but tulle. It was simple and straight forward that the blonde felt that she could be herself.

After a few moments she finally zips up the bag. There’s no reason for her to stare at it anymore, she’s not going to need it ever again.

When she finally emerges from the dressing room her mom and Shawn are waiting for her. Maya has no doubts that Riley told them about their conversation. Her mom doesn’t say anything, she just opens her arms in a silent offering for a hug which Maya gladly accepts.

“Let’s go get some tacos,” Shawn offers as he looks at both of his girls.

“That sounds amazing,” Maya smiles and let’s herself get taken care of by her parents.

+

Maya doesn’t go back to the apartment right away. She can’t bring herself to look at the space that the two of them were preparing to start a life together. Riley had offered to get some of her things to get her by until she figured out what she had planned to do next.

Realistically she still had a ticket to Paris that was going to go unused and wasted. Josh had suggested it one night after he had found an old sketch of Riley she had done long ago. At the time it seemed like a good idea, Paris was the city of love, but now it would just be her escape.

So she takes the full three weeks to explore the city and allow herself to sketch and observe just a wonderful place. Maya visits all the iconic places and avoids the ones that are overly populated by couples. The pain is still far too real and she can’t cope with seeing their love as she’s still feeling like a piece of gum that had been chewed and left.

Maya hadn’t touched her phone since the night of the wedding. The blonde had uninstalled her social media apps and left her text messages untouched. The only people she allowed herself to talk to where Riley and her parents, talking to anyone else had seemed like a mote point.

She’s just getting off her plane ride home when she sees a text from Riley that makes her heart race in a way she hasn’t felt since that day.

_He’s gone_.

Maya pretends that it doesn’t bother her. That she had spent five years in a relationship with someone that had once promised to see where life would take them, only for him to leave. She pretends that she’s fine as she heads out to grab a cab to take her to their apartment, because she needs the confirmation herself.

She unlocks the door once she gets there and she notices that there are things missing. Josh’s shoes that were by the front door are gone. Walking further into the apartment she can see that the pictures of the two of them have been taken off the wall and there’s a box sitting on the dining room table.

She cautiously walks towards it. There a horrible feeling in her stomach as she approaches it. Once she reaches it, she’s not sure if she should open it or not. It taunts her as she looks at it, it’s not marked with anything , which makes it all that more terrifying. Deciding against her thoughts and a feeling that she’s some kind of masochist, she allows herself to open it.

The box isn’t taped. In fact it’s not entirely filled either, but there is a note on top. Lifting it up she takes note that it’s on top of the first photo that was taken of them as a couple, Riley had taken it after they all had decided to go to the shore. Both she and Josh are walking along the shoreline holding hands and Josh is leaning down towards her, she tries to think back figure out what it could be that they’re talking about.

Maya looks at the note her hands. It’s folded but her name is neatly written in Josh’s handwriting, it’s always been kind of sloppy, something she teased him about on numerous occasions. Slowly she allows her self to open it and read its contents.

_Dear Maya,_

_It seems silly me writing this letter, but I figured you wouldn’t want to see me without punching me in the face._

_The words sorry don’t seem like they’re enough in this situation, but unfortunately there isn’t another word to say._

_I realize that I was the driving force to keep us on track to get married. That I soothed your doubts while unknowingly soothed my own. I’ve always been an observer, watching siblings older than you gives you a very useful skill. That skill has a downside, you don’t get to observe your life from the outside._

_I love you Maya. I think I have since I saw you that day in Cory and Topanga’s living room on Christmas years ago. I’ve always wanted a relationship like Cory, he married his high school sweetheart and they had two amazing kids. But not everyone is a Cory, we can’t all have that love._

_I remember our first date after so many years of us dating other people and just life in general. We had just started to walk back to your apartment and walking with you was the best feeling._

_Looking back now and looking back on our wedding day I now realized I had that same feeling. It was love, but more in a way that I love Riley and Auggie, protective._

_I couldn’t go through with that realization on my mind knowing that I wouldn’t have my heart full into it. So for that I am sorry. I’m sorry for waiting until the last and worse possible moment to figure that out._

_I hope one day you can forgive me in some way. Because life without you in anyway would be a life I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone in your life._

_Yours,_

_Joshua Matthews._


End file.
